Wednesday, September 30, 2015

Presume competence



Ever since I've become open about being autistic I've seen just how shitty people are to autistic

people. I spent over 2 hours trying to explain to someone on twitter why accusing me of lying about 

being autistic was disrespectful to me. She thought that because I could type my thoughts on the 

internet and her son couldn't meant I wasn't really autistic. The thought probably never crossed her 

mind that maybe her son can communicate, and she just doesn't know how to listen to him. When 

you presume someone is incapable of something you'll never give them the chance to try. I've heard 

stories about non-verbal autistic adults who were thought to be intellectually disabled because they 

were unable to speak, but when they were taught how to use augmented communication devices they 

found out they actually had a lot to say and were highly intelligent. There's a saying in the disability 

self-advocacy movement: preseume competence. If you've got a child with a developmental 

disability don't just assume they're never going to amount to anything. With the right support youd 

be suprised at whatpeople with developmental disabilities can do given the right support and 

encouragement. It's not fair to your child to never give them the opprotunity to grow just because 

you don't think they're capable.

Saturday, August 15, 2015

These people put the F U in dysfunction

Content Warning: 
This post contains mention of sexual and domestic abuse and homophobia. Reader discretion is advised.

       This post isn't going to be on my normal topic of autism, but 

this shit is so fucked up that I have to get it off of my chest so I 

don't let it eat away at me. I don't even know where to begin to tell 

you how fucked up my wife's ex-husband and his family are. I'm 

talking some next level Jerry Springer shit with a dash of 

deliverance and a sprinkling of trailer trash for added flavor.         

       So let me start with her ex-husband. This motherfucker is like

the bastard love child of Fred Durst and Eminem. His story is 

actually kind of sad til the part where he becomes a misogynistic

and narcissistic,  abusive piece of shit. He grew up in a small rural

town in the south and when he was 17 he decided to come out as 

bisexual thinking that everyone was going to be cool with it, and 

they weren't. But instead of coming to terms with his sexuality he 

repressed his sexuality and started acting like a narcissistic 

hypermasculine dudebro. To give you an idea of just how fucked 

up this guy is he tried to get his wife to have a threesome with a 

woman that he knew was in a swinger relationship with his parents.  

I mean  how twisted do you have to be to try and get with someone 

who was swinging with your parents? I know right, that's creepy as 

fuck. 

       So my wifes ex husbands family being pseudo-incestuous 

hillbilly rednecks isn't even the most fucked up part of this story. 

Yes it get's worse. So during the summer my wifes kids spend the 

week over at their father's house.  The place they live isn't even a 

town, it's a country crossroads with a couple of houses and a 

handful of trailers managed by a man named Sam. That guy can 

get fucked sideways with a rusty chainsaw for all I care, but more 

on that in just a minute. So my wife's ex-husband lives in a trailer

with his baby momma right door to his mom and dads, and across 

the street is the landlord Sam I was telling you about. So when their

grandmother came to drop them off she told my wife that her 

daughter had snuck off while she was at her house while she was 

laying down. She said she looked everywhere and started 

panicking when she couldn't find her. It turns out she had snuck off 

and went for a ride with the landlord on a riding mower while he

was mowing the lawn. So when grandma found out she had snuck 

out of the house without telling her she gave her a spanking. There 

aren't many things that I consider spankable offenses, but a 4 year

old sneaking out of the house without letting anyone know is one 

them. And this is the part that disturbs me. After her grandpa got 

home she went and told her grandpa that grandma was mean to her 

and spanked her. She explained to him what happened and both 

and the landlord dude started verbally assaulting her and cussing 

her out in front of the kids.  They were saying how she's such a 

perfect angel, and a special girl and how she shouldn't have 

her. This struck me as odd because they were using language to 

describe her that was similar to language used in an episode of law 

and order about men who are grooming young girls to be sexually

exploited. So I looked up the sex offender registry for their 

neighbourhood and lo and fucking behold the guy who sat my girl 

on his lap and took her on a ride on his lawnmower had been 

convicted of taking indecent liberties with an 11-year-old back in 

2007.  It get's even more fucked up than this if that's possible to

believe. My wife calls her ex-husband and asks him if he knew 

what happened and he said he heard what happened from his

mother. And then she asked him if he knew that Sam was a 

registered sex offender and he said he did, but that it was just a 

misunderstanding and that Sams ex-wife was trying to get back

at him and made it up. I was like mother-fucker  your daughter was 

alone with a convicted child molester and you're going to sit there 

and defend him?! 

       I don't think he's forced himself on her or anything because 

my daughter is a motor mouth and would tell her mother anything, 

but that doesn't mean he wasn't being pervy with her while she was 

sitting in his lap. I swear to god ya'll if I find out this child 

molesting piece of shit is hurting either of my kids I'm gonna end 

up in jail. 

      We're going to go to the courthouse and CPS to see what we 

can do this coming week, but I don't have any faith in the system 

after the shit they pulled the last time. When she was 2 her 

grandma bit her so hard that she left a mark and CPS didn't do shit

about it because by the time we jumped through all the burocratic

hoops they said it was too late. So if I end up going to jail for

maiming a child molester I hope that one of you could set me up a 

bail fund I'd appreciate it. I'm so angry right now I don't know 

what I'm capable of.

Wednesday, August 5, 2015

Please help if you can.

I don't normally do this, but this is for a very dear friend of 

mine.  She is a single mother going through some really tough 

times right now. Going from two incomes to one she owes a lot 

of money from medical bills and taking out a car title loan. 

Currently, her son is staying with relatives until she finds a 

stable place to stay. Her son is autistic and her relatives aren't 

very sensitive to his needs, but it's the safest place for him 

until she can find a place to stay.  Even if you can't donate you 

can still help her by sharing the page, because if she loses her 

car she'll lose her job making it much more difficult to get back 

on her feet so she can get her son back.   Thank you so much.

https://www.gofundme.com/zr5dx56x

Saturday, August 1, 2015

I am an Autistic warrior.

       I've been thinking about the recent Washington Post article on 
the autism rights movement. At first glance, I thought hey this is 
cool they interviewed actually autistic people in an article about 
autism. While that's definitely an improvement in media 
representation of autism, I feel like the author was more intent on 
making us out to be quirky geeks rather than a serious civil rights 
movement.

Thursday, July 30, 2015

The long and winding road...

       I was misdiagnosed with A.D.D. when I was a child. My 

speech development was typical so my doctors never thought to 

have me tested for autism. I was put on medication for A.D.D. 

which didn't do anything for the social deficits associated with 

autism. So all throughout elementary school and high school I had 

a difficult time making friends and fitting in, but since they were 

treating me for A.D.D. I never got the help I needed so I eventually 

ended up getting so far behind that I gave up and dropped out of 

school.

Sunday, July 26, 2015

Autism Acceptance

AUTISM ACCEPTANCE IS:

  • Allowing me to stim in public without shame
  • Listening to behavior
  • Respecting all forms of communication
  • Paying Autistic employees a real wage
  • Stimming together
  • Where normal is self-defined
  • Integrated classrooms
  • Joint echolalia
  • Not trying to force people to look you in the eye
  • Presuming competence
  • Listening to me even when I'm hard to understand
  • Providing sensory free rooms
  • Respecting my rights
  • The radical notion that Autistics are people 

Saturday, July 25, 2015

Tenets Of Autism Acceptance

[Image: A rainbow infinity symbol with autism acceptance written across it]

Tenets Of Autism Acceptance


  • Non-verbal ≠ Non-thinking
  • Behavior is communication
  • Not a processing error, a different operating system
  • Practice love, not fear
  • Presume competence
  • If you've met one Autistic person, you've met one autistic person
  • Different, not less
  • If you want to know about Autism, ask an Autistic person
  • We need all kinds of minds
  • Acceptance is an action

Tuesday, June 30, 2015